What married life is like: A man’s perspective.

It’s been a long time since I last posted but a lot has happened since then! I got married this year in february and my life has been incredibly busy since then.

There has been a lot of positive changes since marriage; I feel a lot more grown up and it’s nice to have someone who has a deep and affectionate attachment to you as well. Between me and my wife we act more like best friends rather than the atypical husband and wife. We have our ‘in-jokes’ and banter which contribute to a lot of good memories in our relationship.

It has not been all perfect, there have been incredible lows but we always work hard to communicate with each other and to talk things through. No marriage is perfect, that much is clear! It requires a lot of hard work and sacrifice before you can even enjoy the fruits of it.

I suppose the biggest change for me has been the realization that as an Indian male within the context of a Hindu marriage, there are many things that I have to uphold as well as change about myself. Firstly,  over time I had begun to discover that the sacrifice a girl has to go through in an Indian marriage is huge! Leaving her family, house and in my wife’s case country is such a big change for them that men often need to be sensitive to that!

Most girls when they join their husband’s family have to adopt a new way of life and this is not an easy thing to do! Imagine you wake up after 25 years in a different house, with new people who you now have to call mum, dad and brother! As a husband seeing my wife transition through this was both a struggle and confusing. In this modern day and age some families still retain the view that the ‘Bahu’ or  daughter-in-law has to conform to their family ethos as quickly as possible, and the husband should not interfere in that process.

Sometimes I got a feeling that marriage between a husband and wife is a relatively simple thing;  don’t be dishonest, always communicate your feelings and have time for each other’s feelings. But living within a family context things begin to get more complicated. As a son of parents whom you have lived with all your life, there are many conflicted opinions that run through your mind about the right course of action. Often you think, is it better to offend my parents by disobeying them or undermine my wife by not supporting her?

Many situations arise like this but the general expectation upon the newly married couple is to conform and settle properly within the family. Of course this is easier said than done sometimes, but it depends on how you interact with your parents and wife simultaneously!

I think generally that is the crux of the matter, as a man with my own individual likes and dislikes, it can be easy to forget your own individuality within the constant changing sea of your life. Responsibilities increase as you need to better yourself financially to make life comfortable for both of you. Socially your time and priorities are limited to an extent where your friends don’t really hear from you much.

I am in no way saying this transition has been harder for me than it has been for my wife. She has coped well so far and our relationship is still going strong over 8 months in. Before we got married I guess we had ideals about how married life would be, but we forgot to take into consideration the larger family that we live with.

In conclusion, I would not change anything at the moment. Apart from the fact that my wife is in India waiting for her visa…that sucks! Naina has been a rock in my life ever since I knew her and I wouldn’t want her any other way.

One piece of advice for all guys before you get married; prepare for hard work, always recognise your wife’s sacrifices and never put her down. You both have to work with each other to make things improve!

The 21 year old Teacher: My first year on the job.

College grounds

The 2nd September 2013 was the biggest day of my post university life. I had started my first day of teaching and to be completely honest, I had no idea what would be in store for me in my first year. People told me it would be tough, but this tough?

My first few weeks seemed completely alien, only a few months ago I was leading the atypical student life of clubbing, socializing and mediocre studying. Suddenly I had classes to take care of, students to monitor and my PGCE to study for. This combined with the departmental duties, meetings and other such things kept me really busy throughout this period. During these first few weeks I had to remember names, room locations and colleague feedback. All of my senior colleagues told me the beginning of the year will be the most difficult and tiring, and boy were they right! My gruelling 2 hour train commute to work and back didn’t help things either, as it further compounded my tiredness. Some days I came home and just slept, didn’t eat dinner or spend time with my family at all. It would be fair to say that the burgeoning social life that was present at university had ceased…it was a lonely time of my life.

Planning for lessons, marking homework and classroom management all took a lot of time and energy, but I really enjoyed creating my own lessons. I liked to stamp my own authority onto my students and over time it paid dividend. At the beginning of the year I used to be incredibly nervous before each class, as soon as they all filtered in my heart would beat faster! I would shuffle my lesson notes and breathe slowly to relieve myself…I FELT ALIVE! This job made me feel alive! I felt that each lesson was risky, every day was different and not one class was the same. I could say for a fact that I had a lot of fun sharing jokes with my students, having plenty of banter about their lives as well as mines.

Overall, during the course of the year I could definitely feel I was improving and progressing, but tougher challenges lied ahead.

Of course there were students who really took the p***s! Some needed to be cajoled and coerced into lifting their fingers into action and putting pen to paper. Other students just had no motivation of any self-esteem, this proved to be the greatest challenge as an inexperienced teacher. I tried my best to boost them but it was a battle at times, there were many instances of students crying in front of me due to sheer anxiety and lack of belief in themselves. Other students had serious emotional and personal problems that it often felt like my maths lessons were just a small insignificant moment of time in their view of life. I wasn’t only a teacher in these times, but also a psychiatrist, friend and maybe a parent.

I think the weirdest thing about being 21 and teaching in a school is obviously the age difference. I could relate all too well to the students and their likes and dislikes as well as their slang. Although in some scenarios this was an advantages, in others it wasn’t so.

Parents evening, UCAS references and departmental meetings all forced me to grow up quickly and take myself seriously. This is a bloody serious job, you are dealing with people’s education. There were tough days and there were brilliant days, but often you used the rubbish days to make yourself stronger. I will always remember the good days, often little things like students getting a ‘Eureka’ moment or a lesson observation went well. The tough days were defining and a steep learning curve, there were moments where I felt like giving up,yet I still woke up 5.30am each day.

The classes I taught and the students who annoyed me will forever be etched into my memory.  I feel incredibly privileged to be have been part of their lives, to see them grow and become more mature…I would love to see what they do when they get older.

It has been the toughest year of my life but also the most beautiful. The results are very important but the process has been life-changing, I will definitely start my second year stronger and wiser. This is only the beginning.

My Arranged Love Marriage..

I never really do personal posts, but I felt I should try something different from the usual dribble I come out with.

Arranged marriage: the 2 words which generate fear amongst most British Asians. The thought of letting our parents choose someone for us is just ridiculous, I never let my mum choose my own clothes let alone a bride!!

For years I was determined not to have my marriage arranged, I felt like so many of my friends that I could find someone on my own without any help. I went to university back in 2010 thinking I could find the perfect women (as well as study) and that my parents would accept her with open arms.

Well 3 years later nothing had happened, yes I had talked to people but nothing serious came out of this. I can explain the situation like this; my criteria was too tight! I wanted someone similar to myself, sober and vegetarian as well as cultured and family orientated. I was not ready to lower my ideals, despite the fact that very few girls at university had the viewpoint on life. My main feeling is that I had a long term outlook on relationships which some people may not have agreed with.

WOAH ASH, CALM DOWN YOU ARE ONLY 21! LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Well that’s the problem, I could have delayed all this until much later in life. But the chances of finding someone who would be accepted by my parents would be much lower over time. As it is, my career choice of maths teacher meant that I have little to no time to actually do dating. It was all a bit daunting…( you can tell I am a practical person, if only I gave this much thought to my bloody degree..). I got a job and graduated, and I think by this time I had given up all hope and let fate/destiny do the rest. I couldn’t be bothered to think about it anymore and I avoided the topic whenever anyone brought it up.

A phonecall came from an old family friend in India last summer. After 2 hours worth of conversation my mother hesitantly brought up the subject at the dinner table.

MUM: “So puth (son), a phonecall came from India..about a girl…”

ME: “No.Just No.”

MUM: “Hear me out at least, bhut soni kuri ah..”

Over the course of the next week I argued intensely with my parents, I didn’t want an arranged marriage and definitely not from someone from India. I felt things were getting out of my control and I haven’t even started my job yet! However, I agreed that maybe I should talk to the girl before I completely write her off. No harm right?

Well initially it was awkward, I had met her Dad a few years ago and had seen pictures but I was so uncomfortable with all this. She was even more uncomfortable as she didn’t want to marry this soon and definitely not with someone from England. Things were not good at this stage.

However, over time after breaking through the nerves and shyness we got talking a lot more. We watsapped each other frequently and our Skype conversations were more comfortable. At this point I realised that we could only talk like this so openly because we had the support of both our parents. Sometimes my own mother would tell me to call her!

Weeks turned into months, we kept sending pictures and had a lot of fun in the process. The main problem however was the time difference, but we made it work; I would talk in the mornings on watsapp on the way to work, then again after work. Again it was nice to have my parents supporting me each step of the way asking ‘how is she? what did you talk about?’. I definitely felt relieved, I know plenty of friends that had to hide their relationships and I think that dishonesty is not good for the couple or the families involved.

Of course we had tough times, at this point we had never met! In this regard I felt a bit uneasy but also excited, what would our first meeting be like? STILL, we had the choice to opt out of all this, but we never did. Then by about December/January time I felt I was ready to take a big leap…I had talked to Naina (the girl in question) for a few months and I felt she was the one for me. Of course most of you would think I am crazy, you would say I need years to know someone. But to be honest, we clicked really well; she understood me and accepted my flaws and shortcomings as I accept hers. We were brutally honest with each other about everything in our lives and most importantly, my parents accepted her and hers accepted me. The date was set for April 2014, my engagement…

I was in India for only 11 days, but it seemed like a mere second. I had so much fun with family and although I had butterflies in my stomach on meeting Naina for the first time, I felt immediately at ease with her during the ceremonies. After that day we spent a lot more time in Punjab and I had a great time getting to know her more. I will never forget that time, and it felt almost wrong and insane to come back to the UK and settle back into the work routine again. We will meet again at our wedding next year, it’s a painful wait but well worth it.

I suppose the conclusion of my story is that arranged marriage is not some sort of prehistoric remnant of historical India. It really does have its advantages; you can communicate openly with your partner; you have family support and you don’t have to keep things secret from your parents. But I suppose the biggest advantage is the ‘mystery’. You see, when you have a long term partner who you intend to marry, you already know everything about that individual before you spend your new life together. That novelty and initial excitement has already long gone…but in an arranged marriage, you can develop a very strong bond because you grow together and get to know each other properly.

I am lucky to say that out of my arranged marriage, me and Naina have a great understanding and also a deeper attachment from the knowledge that we will soon be reunited again. Obviously I don’t mean to say that everyone should have an arranged marriage, but I hope I dispelled a few myths and fears about the practise. Again it all comes down to the individual and their family and your outlook on life.

The Black Man; free or not?

 

Last year I was walking in my university library where I caught sight of a book. It was small, black and a bit worn out. But the picture in front of the book was that of a man who consolidated my viewpoint of the world as well as my opinions of colonialism. The book was called the  ‘Biography of Malcolm X’ and was not only a piece of historical literature but also a warning for the future, a warning which everybody has ignored. 

Within this book he talks of his life from poverty and crime, how he faced the incredible prejudices of his day to become a highly respected and educated voice of the Black masses in the USA. He was a clear opposite to Martin Luther King, Malcolm X advocated separatism from the whites, and a violent force to make sure this happens. His insights into the plight of the black man of his time before and during the civil rights movement paints a stark picture of how detached the so-called ‘negro’ was from his true roots. The black people would go to severe lengths to become white whether it’s changing their hairstyle to changing the way that they dress. But one recurrent theme played through these experiences, no matter how hard the black man tried, he was never really free from oppressing poverty. He was stuck in a vicious cycle which had been created for him by the establishment where he was to be born poor, grow up uneducated, denied access to improve himself and hence not able to improve conditions for his family and successive generations.

Youtube has countless videos of Malcolm X and his speeches, I suggest that everyone should watch them. One particular video was perhaps the most damning conclusion of the state of the black man in the US. In this video Malcolm discusses the reason why he changed his surname to ‘X’. He concurs that his slave ancestors once arriving in the New World were given a slave name, a name which was not African at all. A name which cut off the link between that slave’s children and their history. It was a white European name, and for this reason upon his conversion to Islam he replaced it with ‘X’ to highlight that his history, his culture and his way of life has been stolen from him and his ancestors. This is the very reason which spurned Cassius Clay upon conversion to Islam to become Muhammed Ali. Muhammed was also a very good orator, his discussions of race and equality were indeed breathtaking. 

So what is the state of the black man now? In the 21st century where we have a black president holding the most powerful seat in the world? Is he liberated of his past troubles? Has he become successful?

In short; in some ways, though the challenges are different.

You see, the hundreds of years worth of colonization and imperialism generated a system of wealth distribution so deeply ingrained throughout the world that it would take hundreds of years to outdo them. In all countries which have high percentages of black populations the only thing that has changed is the methods of oppression. Let us take Britain for example, the established Afro-Caribbean community constantly find themselves under scrutiny from the media and as a result a new set of challenges confront them in all aspects of society from education, housing and employment. In America I read a report where a major financial company has a QUOTA of how many black people it should employ. In South Africa, quotas are insisted in most sporting circles, THIS 20 YEARS AFTER READMISSION. I do not even remember watching the news and hearing about Black CEO’s or such people in high positions of power. Heck, even Barack Obama despite having Kenyan ancestry cannot really  claim to having shared the same experiences of his Afro-American citizens (most of whom originate from Western Africa hundreds of years ago). In Africa itself the never ending problems of war, famine and poverty seem to provide a perfect mechanism for European powers ( in the form of multinationals) to exploit the land for minerals, resources and people until the soil is drenched in blood. 

That’s not to undermine those people who have made huge strides in world affairs, there are countless individuals of black heritage who have done incredibly well from humble beginnings. But still, the main issue comes with responsibility of fortune. Comedian Chris Rock put it bluntly that Black people do not have wealth, but white people do…

What does this mean?

WEALTH is something which can be passed on from one generation to the next, which can be shared to benefit the community at large and uplift your brothers and sisters from from poverty. Being a rich man in singular terms means that your wealth is for you only, but it does not do anything for your community at large unless you use it wisely. This means that the black community in the US will never be a force to self govern or determine its own future.

In the days of Malcolm X most of these barriers to freedom were made and approved by the establishment. Nowadays the establishment has a different face and hence the barriers are also diverse. I think personally to attain a level of independence and freedom once must be self-sufficient enough to know the barriers but carry on regardless. One must never blame the situation around him for his current state but instead use it as a beginning to greater things. Malcolm X himself was nobody until he found an inner strength of conviction to educate himself in prison, to debate and to make a movement which inspired many. 

For this isn’t a story of the freedom of the Black man, rather a story of freedom itself. The story of the Black people is the story of humanity, a rich poem of pride, honour and heritage. The Black man’s identity has been suppressed, stolen and ignored, but he will rise and remind everyone of his glorious past and golden future. 

*Please note I am not an eminent historian, this post has been the conclusion of reading various books, articles as well as watching films, documentaries in my own spare time. If you have any problems with whatever I have written then I apologize and look forward to your criticism. Thanks.

The ideal reader

The Insignificance of Humanity.

I started my new job a few weeks ago, and I can honestly say that I really enjoy the work I do and the people I work with. I teach maths and frankly its a job which gives a lot of variety but can be very tiring, as it is I take part in a 2 hour commute to work every day so I often come home shattered.

The commute to London is strange. In the morning I wait for the 6.47 train to pull up, while I see weary looking ‘humans’ stumble on and find a seat to sleep on. Thirty minutes into my journey the train fills up with scores of other commuters, each glued to their phones, ipods and books even. Silence envelops the carriage, nobody dares to strike up a conversation with someone else to be branded a weirdo or god forbid….a nice person. My stop approaches and I begin to shuffle to the door so that I can be the first one out, I often fail but it is a worthy effort.

What happened next shook me for life. But when I tell you the story it is not something extra-ordinary or complicated. You can experience this yourself in your everyday life and yet take it for granted.

I ambled off the train and proceeded to walk very quickly in an ordered fashion to my next platform. It was here I noticed my shoes were untied so I managed to squeeze out of the rat-race and sit down on a platform bench. Instead of rushing to my next train I decided to sit for a while, maybe I was lazy but I wanted to catch a breath. I sat there while I saw what seemed to be the whole human race pass before my very eyes; worried expressions on their faces as they tried to get to work on time. Some were running faster than Usain Bolt, if indeed possible. I looked up the Shard, a modern skyscraper recently constructed to show London economic and financial ‘strength’…

A thought clicked in; I wonder what life looks like from the top of that tall building?  What would I see? A brilliant sunrise maybe, or the vast concrete jungle that is London in its glory?

Ants.

That’s the first thought that came to my head if I imagined myself on that skyscraper…ants. Consider it, I look down on London Bridge train station and I see thousands of little things running in a chaotic manner from A to B to C to infinity. Some of these little things would run, some would walk while others will stop altogether. It immediately reminded me of a vision from my childhood when I saw an ants nest in my garden, upon kicking a football at it all the ants descended into anarchy while they tried to make sense of the situation at hand.

What do you think when you see some ants? The first word that comes to mind is how insignificant they seem compared to you in size and strength. In fact I know some kids have a sadistic pleasure in killing them for some odd reason, such was their disdain for these creatures (or good parenting according to my mum).

So I considered zooming out of my scenario, I imagined myself in a plane then in space. The conclusion was the same, we are so insignificant in our universe and yet we consider ourselves to be pretty valuable to the world we live in. I guess this is how people first thought about the existence of God all those thousands of years ago…religion to them made sense of all this.

All of us, our feelings, emotions, lusts and ego pale in comparison to what our relative place in the universe is. But still, everyday we wake up, get on the train and live a life completely devoid of this bone shattering knowledge, such is our tunnel vision!

For those of you who think this is quite a narcissistic view on the world then just take a second to try my thought experiment. Imagine yourself on top of the Eiffel tower or Empire State Building and think clearly about what you see, not the buildings or the streets but the individual people themselves.

Don’t get me wrong as humans we have done a lot, but when the world ends…the universe will still carry on with out without us. It certainly humbled me and I think once this thought dawns on a lot of people then it would silence them also. 7 billion humans on this Earth and counting…each one with dreams and aspirations.

I heard a conductors whistle and snapped out of my thoughts, then realized that I had 2 minutes to run to my next train.

Headphones inserted, press the play button…get on with my insignificant life.

The Sikh Community in Britain; an outsiders opinion.

Britain is an island which has over the years become a melting pot of culture and languages. Each ethnic community has their own specialisms and strengths which has helped this country to become a beacon for social cohesion. Whether it is the West Indians who came during the 1950’s to work on the London buses or the Pakistani Muslims who worked endless hours in the Yorkshire mills. All of these communities have left an indelible mark in rich and varied script of British history.

In my post today I will look at the Sikh community, an ethnic group of people who hail from the Punjab region of North India. I live in a small town in England called Gravesend, which has its own very well established and growing Sikh community which is now in its 3rd or 4th generation. Even though my own ancestors hail from the same area as these people, I am writing this post as an outside because I am not a Sikh; I am a HIndu Brahmin. I follow a different religion and as a result a different culture to my Sikh brethren who live in my neighbourhoods.

This is my view of the Sikh community within the UK having not only lived in Gravesend for my formative years but also having spent 3 years living in Leicester and witnessing the Sikh students who strive to follow their faith…

The Sikhs of Britain are the most hardest working community in the land. They bring with them a tenacity to work and a humbleness to not complain, as a result they are also the wealthiest of the south Asian minorities in the UK with a median household salary of £200,000. The Sikhs today, as they did back in the 50’s when they first arrived always look after one another and their families. Many families try to bring relatives over from India and help them set up in this ‘land of oppurtunity’. However, although lots of families have gained immense fortune living here, the hardships they have had to endure to become successful has been great too. Many turbaned Sikh men still experience racism in this modern era even though there is lots of education within schools about differentiation of religions. However, if anything this makes the bonds between the people much greater and they face the adversity with a combined effort. Sikhs are also very progressive and integrate very well wherever they go, they have excelled in all aspects and sections of British life without compromising on their background. I think the best thing I have seen in my time living with these big hearted people is that they love their religion so much; it gives them boundless energy during their bad times as well as a reflection during their good times. This is why Sikhism as a religion is unique, because the people by and large carry out the message which the Gurus laid out before them in their illustrious history. They love their religion so much they have a mission to build Gurdwaras wherever they go so that they can pray and do sewa in peace. On that note the concept of ‘service for others’ or Sewa is a key tenet of the faith and again they hold this in high regard whether it be serving langar with love in the Gurdwara or giving great hospitality in family functions. They always seek to include, educate and promote others about their faith and do this by means of TV channels, leaflets and even facebook. All in all it is a faith for humanity.

As an outsider I have a different perspective on things and this provides me with a different view on Sikhism within this country. Although I understand much of the faith I do not claim to be educated in it, I have many Sikh friends who I consider my own brothers and this has provided me with much insight into the community. There are however various problems which are apparent from my viewpoint…

I think the major struggle the Sikhs (as with any ethnic minority in the UK) have is the battle to maintain and preserve their culture and religion. I have seen first hand at University how young Asian girls and boys, not only Sikh, try to diverge away from their true paths and try to become more modern in their ways. The Sikh Society at my university did a great job to educate the students but despite tremendous support in volunteering, one can only feel that these were the minority. There were very few people who I can say exhibit true qualities of a ‘Singh’ or a ‘Kaur’. The youth are in a struggle to try and fit into British society but also to adhere to their faith, it is a struggle which I have been through myself and it is tough.
The issue of caste, as mentioned in another one of my blogs, is indeed a cancer on the community which affects everyone. One of the fundamental tenets of Sikhi is that caste is wrong and one should not follow it; however there are deep divisions within the community due to people still believing that their caste is better than another. I have seen separate Gurdwaras for Ravidassia ( Low caste) Sikhs and it seems that people will still hold onto their attached caste.
More recently the cases involving sexual abuse and grooming of young Sikh girls has hit the community hard, I have seen and heard cases in Leicester involving grooming gangs in clubs and there is a lot of truth to these stories. There has even been a BBC documentary highlighting this issue and it is heartening to see that there are educational programmes out there in place to deter such vile acts against these girls.
There also seems to be some kind of weird mix between how one should uphold Punjabi culture; which promotes alcohol, eating meat and caste etc and the true values of Sikhism which do not promote such things. Again it is just my opinion, but for normal Sikh youth it may be a very difficult balancing act to try.
The burning issue for Sikhs who really are in touch with their roots is the issue of Khalistan and the events before and after 1984. TO MAKE THIS CLEAR; I was not born and I did not live in that time, so I will not comment on it because I have no knowledge other than news reports and friends. However, I will say that it is very clear that the justice system of India is a shambles and why the perpetrators of the Delhi riots have have not been dealt with is beyond me. My family come from Delhi and my Dad has recounted to me the story of how he and his brothers defended his Sikh neighbours with cricket bats while the city around them was in chaos. I cannot help but cry in anguish over his story, as well as the miscarriages of justice that has occurred in the Punjab during the 1990’s. I am not educated enough to comment on the validity of Khalistan (a homeland for the Sikhs) but the Sikh youth of the UK do try tirelessly for their cause and I respect them for it…you need to stand up for what you believe in.

I think the Sikh community in the UK have done themselves proud, they have made a shining example of social cohabitation and it has been a privilege to live among these fiercely proud people. The religion has inspired me through my tough times and its followers have shown me and my family a lot of love over these years. Despite the problems facing it, I am confident that the youth will overcome them with the same zeal and effort as their fore-fathers.

If I have offended anyone then I am incredibly sorry, it was not my intention. Please however leave comments or criticisms if you get time, I would love to educate myself. This post is merely an objective viewpoint of Sikhism in this country, not an attack.

How to deal with ‘Haters’

‘HATERS GONNA HATE, YOU GOT HATERS YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT, THIS IS FOR ALL MY HATERS OUT THERE’

This is an example of the many facebook statuses I see of people who want to show to their ‘haters’ that they don’t care. It is actually quite thick as it shows you actually do care about what they think about you and it is not a good look.

We cannot expect to go through life to be liked by everyone and anyone. Inevitably there will be people that will not like you for reasons of jealousy, envy or just because you smell good. There are an infinite number of reasons to be ‘hated’ by someone, and some people just love to prove such detractors wrong by shouting out loud for no odd reason.

The reason I am saying all this is not due to any annoyance on my part, it is purely based on what I have seen and I have come to the rather bone shattering conclusion that the best way to deal with haters is;

TO NOT SAY/DO/REACT TO ANYTHING AT ALL, IN FACT LOVE YOUR HATERS.

To some people this may be harder to do but seriously, if I hated someone and they showed me greater respect and love then I would immediately think ‘what the actual duck (another word rhymes with this)’. It would put me right off and instead of trying to direct my energy to send a message of propaganda against my enemy I would start to realize that actually I have been acting rather stupid.

THINK ABOUT IT! Instead of glorifying on facebook, twitter, instagram or bebo (YES I USE IT SO WHAT!) about your achievements and how ‘you shut your haters up’, you should instead just keep quiet. Be humble and be modest for you have gained the moral victory if anything. Your quiet success will speak a thousand words rather than a shouted achievement with pointed remarks.

I have proved countless people wrong over my short lifespan and god willing I will continue but there is no need for the dramatics, for the people who you consider ‘haters’ are and will never be important people in your life. However, by treating them with love and respect you are showing yourself to be a bigger person than they will ever hope to be. They will start to change themselves, and if they don’t then to hell with them…they are nothing anyway.

Oh and by the way, having haters doesn’t usually mean are you are doing something right, it could also mean you are a knob with nothing else to do but annoy other people. There will be some of you who love having haters and it apparently makes you ‘famous’…well that’s your own prerogative and I wish you best of luck.

Why are we so keen to grow up?

This week has been one of the most important in my entire life, I am beginning a new chapter as a maths teacher and suddenly I have become a responsible adult.

Woe is me, it seems like only 4 months ago I was chilling with my uni friends, having a laugh without a care in the world. Yes we had an eye on the future but it seemed too distant and unreal….that was until this week.

The one major difference from the student life and now is my sleeping habits. Whereas in university I slept like a bear in infinite hibernation, now I have to get used to waking up at the obscene time of 5.45 am just to catch the 2 hour train at 7 am! The daily commute takes me to central London where I witness the rat race in the city, thousands of bleary eyed city workers who smell of coffee and cigarettes racing to get to work. It is here where I had my epiphany, sitting between a rather smelly old man in a suit and a small lady in business attire;

I HAVE GROWN UP WAY TOO QUICK.

It suddenly hit me like a brick in the face, all these years from my primary school through to secondary school we all yearn to get older and get more freedom. I explicitly remember being unable to contain my excitement on the thought of going to uni and leaving my parents behind, only to realize that the 3 years flew by without me realising, and here we are!

In primary school we dream of going to secondary, in secondary we dream of sixth form and when we are finally where we want to be…it becomes an anticlimax of sorts. You realize you may not have enjoyed your younger days as much because you were relentlessly pursuing your ambitions.

I think personally we should take time to enjoy our present moment in time, because your youthful period of your life is your most productive, fun and creative.

Why rush to become the next manager, head of department or whatever? Enjoy what you have now! You may never get that feeling ever again…in other words BE A KID AT HEART!

The BNP and the EDL; do they have a point?

BNP leader Nick Griffin and EDL leader Tommy Robinson are both at extreme ends of the political spectrum. Nick and the BNP use the democratic system within this country to express their views in a open and ‘honest’ way, whereas the EDL appear to be a group of misguided football hooligans with no clear agenda. Yet they both originate from the same National Front beginnings, so despite the fact that the general British public think they have no serious case in their policies they still have a valid point to make.

I think what BNP and the EDL stand for is national pride. They feel that Britain has lost its culture and its very way of life is being undermined by immigrants who use the system for their own benefit. There is NOTHING RACIST about this stance, they know as much as I do that without immigrants this country would collapse immediately. The simple fact is that immigrants in this country are taking the jobs which the ‘White British’ would never do; the jobs such as cleaning, potato picking, factory work, nurses and the list is endless.

The people who support the BNP/EDL know this fact as well, but do not seem to admit it. What they will admit however is that the growing influx of immigrants has made them nervous and agitated..they walk in their town centres and see people from all parts of the world BUT they don’t hear them speak English. They send their kids to a school where 50%+ of the students speak English as a second language, as a result the Ofsted rating is poor. They also see gangs from these various immigrant communities roaming the once peaceful streets.

It would make anyone nervous, and I think they have every right to feel this way! This is your city/town/village and over the course of your lifetime you see it become a hell-hole, and you would start blaming these extra terrestrial people called ‘immigrants’!

Any colonized people in History would feel this amongst other things such as rape, forcible conversion and slavery.  Over time these lands were granted freedom but at a huge cost; they were left in a quagmire of poverty, corruption and disease. I think in a weird twist of Karma the British people are suffering the same fate as the people they colonized for 200 hundreds or so; a disintegration of culture, language and customs. They have every right to stand up for their rights…

BUT and this is a big BUT, despite the good and valid message the EDL and the BNP wish to get across, they cannot ever be taken seriously until they form a group of highly intellectual people who can argue the points for them without it coming across lazily as racism. I would listen to Nick Griffin and Tommy Robinson if they actually did their research, came up with a valid discussion and talked with a sense of authority (or if in fact they were not racist). As it is they lurch from media disaster to another, and I talk about EDL in regard to this point that they need to rebrand themselves not as drunken thugs but as people who have genuine concerns and are willing to discuss not BEAT UP people to get it across.

I am not for one moment giving credence to such political groups, in my opinion all parties talk a lot of horse manure and seem to do nothing anyway. However, after witnessing EDL demonstrations in Leicester and Luton, as well as watching Nick Griffin fumble Question Time on TV i feel they are doing a huge injustice to the British people who support them! For it is not only white British but plenty others from all backgrounds that support their cause, because they all regard this land as their own and will do anything for it.

As a person who has lived in a very mixed community for the past decade or so I have also seen a  great shift in society due to mass immigration. Some of it has been bad, but a lot of it has been good, and I think personally BNP/EDL need to focus on the good and not only extrapolate from the bad….they owe a lot to the immigrants and their contribution to society cannot be forgotten.