College grounds
The 2nd September 2013 was the biggest day of my post university life. I had started my first day of teaching and to be completely honest, I had no idea what would be in store for me in my first year. People told me it would be tough, but this tough?
My first few weeks seemed completely alien, only a few months ago I was leading the atypical student life of clubbing, socializing and mediocre studying. Suddenly I had classes to take care of, students to monitor and my PGCE to study for. This combined with the departmental duties, meetings and other such things kept me really busy throughout this period. During these first few weeks I had to remember names, room locations and colleague feedback. All of my senior colleagues told me the beginning of the year will be the most difficult and tiring, and boy were they right! My gruelling 2 hour train commute to work and back didn’t help things either, as it further compounded my tiredness. Some days I came home and just slept, didn’t eat dinner or spend time with my family at all. It would be fair to say that the burgeoning social life that was present at university had ceased…it was a lonely time of my life.
Planning for lessons, marking homework and classroom management all took a lot of time and energy, but I really enjoyed creating my own lessons. I liked to stamp my own authority onto my students and over time it paid dividend. At the beginning of the year I used to be incredibly nervous before each class, as soon as they all filtered in my heart would beat faster! I would shuffle my lesson notes and breathe slowly to relieve myself…I FELT ALIVE! This job made me feel alive! I felt that each lesson was risky, every day was different and not one class was the same. I could say for a fact that I had a lot of fun sharing jokes with my students, having plenty of banter about their lives as well as mines.
Overall, during the course of the year I could definitely feel I was improving and progressing, but tougher challenges lied ahead.
Of course there were students who really took the p***s! Some needed to be cajoled and coerced into lifting their fingers into action and putting pen to paper. Other students just had no motivation of any self-esteem, this proved to be the greatest challenge as an inexperienced teacher. I tried my best to boost them but it was a battle at times, there were many instances of students crying in front of me due to sheer anxiety and lack of belief in themselves. Other students had serious emotional and personal problems that it often felt like my maths lessons were just a small insignificant moment of time in their view of life. I wasn’t only a teacher in these times, but also a psychiatrist, friend and maybe a parent.
I think the weirdest thing about being 21 and teaching in a school is obviously the age difference. I could relate all too well to the students and their likes and dislikes as well as their slang. Although in some scenarios this was an advantages, in others it wasn’t so.
Parents evening, UCAS references and departmental meetings all forced me to grow up quickly and take myself seriously. This is a bloody serious job, you are dealing with people’s education. There were tough days and there were brilliant days, but often you used the rubbish days to make yourself stronger. I will always remember the good days, often little things like students getting a ‘Eureka’ moment or a lesson observation went well. The tough days were defining and a steep learning curve, there were moments where I felt like giving up,yet I still woke up 5.30am each day.
The classes I taught and the students who annoyed me will forever be etched into my memory. I feel incredibly privileged to be have been part of their lives, to see them grow and become more mature…I would love to see what they do when they get older.
It has been the toughest year of my life but also the most beautiful. The results are very important but the process has been life-changing, I will definitely start my second year stronger and wiser. This is only the beginning.
Desi Blogger 